Calculate self-criticism

• think about the event for which you feel criticized, responsible or guilty,
• use a number from 0 to 100 % to estimate the percentage of responsibility you feel for the event,
• list other reasons and factors that also (!) have or had an influence on the event,
• estimate the percentage of influence each individual reason or factor has or had on the event. Please note: Do not give more than 100 % percent in total,
• add up the percentages of the factors and subtract them from 100%,
• the remaining percentage points correspond to the personal influence on the negative event.

Please note

Only those who have a direct influence on a negative event or happening can take responsibility for the event.

Only those who have a direct influence on a negative event or happening can take responsibility for it. An important project could not be completed by the set deadline. As the project manager, he felt bad because he saw the main responsibility as lying with himself. He criticized himself for his “poor performance”. But was it really just down to him or were there other factors that he hadn’t taken into account enough and that also had an influence on the slow progress of the project?

Please note: Written notes are more helpful for this exercise than mental arithmetic. He took a sheet of A4 paper and a pencil. He wrote down what he was criticizing himself for.

• That the project had not been completed on time.
• He felt that he was 70% responsible for this.

He then considered other reasons and factors that had an influence:

• High sickness rate: out of 10 employees, only 6 were available at times.
• Supply bottlenecks: An important supplier had failed and could only be replaced with difficulty.
• Software problems: An update was faulty. Work on the project had to be suspended for 3 days.
• Planning errors: Necessary corrections to the planning were more costly than could have been foreseen.

He considered what percentage influence each individual factor had on the result. Maximum 100% percent awarded!

High sickness rate 30 %

Delivery bottlenecks 10 %

Software problems 25 %

Planning errors 15 %

• Add up the percentages and subtract from 100 %.

30 + 10 + 25 + 15 resulted in 80 % external influence on the negative event.

• The remaining percentage points corresponded to his personal influence on the event. 100 – 80 = 20 % personal influence.

The percentage value of 20% corresponded to a more realistic personal influence on the course of the project than the previously perceived 70% percent. The bad feeling and self-criticism decreased noticeably.

Only someone who has a direct influence on a negative event or happening can take responsibility for it. She remembered that her friend had already had a milestone birthday 10 weeks ago. It had been her 50th birthday of all things. What would her friend think of her? A feeling of guilt spread through her. However, she didn’t want to simply accept the feeling and decided to think about whether there were other reasons or factors that had led to this omission.

Please note: Written notes are more helpful for this exercise than mental arithmetic. She got a sheet of A4 paper and a pencil. She wrote down what she was criticizing herself for.

• That she had forgotten her 50th birthday.
• The feeling of guilt was palpable, so she gave herself 100% percent!

Then she thought about other reasons and factors that had an influence:

• Moving house – She had moved to her new apartment on her friend’s birthday and had been very tired that evening.
• Job – The move had become necessary because she had accepted a new job. The first few weeks had been characterized by long working days and new impressions.
• New relationship – Shortly before the move, she had met a new man with whom she had spent a lot of time.

She thought about what percentage influence each individual factor had had on her forgetting her birthday. Maximum 100% percent forgiven!

Relocation 20 %

Working hours 20 %

New relationship 50 %

• Add the percentages together and subtract from 100%.

20 + 20 + 50 resulted in 90 % external influence on the forgotten phone call.

• The remaining percentage points corresponded to their personal influence on the event. 100 – 90 = 10 % personal influence.

The percentage value of 10 % corresponded to a more realistic assessment than the previously perceived 100 %. So many new things had happened in her life that she had simply forgotten about the birthday. The bad feeling and self-criticism diminished noticeably. She resolved to call her friend.

Emmelkamp, P.M.G. & van Oppen, P. (2000). Zwangsstörungen. Fortschritte der Psychotherapie. Göttingen. Hogrefe

Lakatos, A. & Reinecker, H. (2001). Kognitive Verhaltenstherapie bei Zwangsstörungen. Göttingen: Hogrefe

Leahy, R.  L. (2007). Techniken kognitiver Therapie. Paderborn: Junfermann Verlag