Load ladder with 10 steps

• consider which event is stressful or difficult for you to bear,
• rate the severity of the stress with a number on the stress ladder from level 1 (bearable) to level 10 (unbearable),
• assign a different event to each of the remaining 9 levels of the stress ladder, which corresponds to the numerical value of the respective stress level.
• Start with the 10th level (unbearable) and descend to the 1st level (bearable).

The following are examples of stressful life events that are associated with varying degrees of personal stress. This method is not suitable for dealing with threatening or traumatic life events such as the death of a loved one, war or life-threatening illness. This requires other forms of help. However, for all other everyday worries or problems, the extreme life events just mentioned can serve as examples and a benchmark for stress level 10 and thus be helpful in reassessing the personal situation.

Examples of stressful life events

Loss of a job, insults, separation from a partner, childlessness, financial losses, trouble with a superior, failing an exam, injustice, money worries, imprisonment, quarrel in the family, loss of contact with a loved one, accident, lack of promotion, children leaving home, personal achievements not being recognized, etc.

She had already gone out with him three times and they had become close. She could well imagine staying with him. He was so different from all the other men. He had promised to get back to her. She had been waiting for his call for three days now. The evening messages on her cell phone had also failed to appear. And then she saw him in town with another woman in his arms.

She was extremely angry and hurt. She remembered the 10-step stress ladder.

• Think about which event is stressful or difficult for you to bear?

The man had not contacted her and was seeing another woman.

• Rate the severity of the stress with a number on the stress ladder from level 1 (bearable) to level 10 (unbearable).

It felt like a 9. She was very sad and disappointed. She felt constantly rejected.

• Assign a different event to each of the remaining 9 levels of the stress ladder, corresponding to the numerical value of the stress level. Start with the 10th step (unbearable) and descend to the 1st step (bearable).

She thought about how she should proceed. On the stress ladder, the death of her parents would certainly mean level 10. Level 9 was already occupied. She would put an accident or serious illness at level 8. Level 7 would be the loss of a job. On level 6, a prison sentence or a dispute within the family? And level 5? And if her best friend suddenly broke off contact, would that be a 5? It was starting to get weird. Was it worth a 9? Was the fact that the guy was seeing someone else and had betrayed her worse than an accident or a serious illness (8) or that her best friend would break off contact for good? No, certainly not! Compared to the other problems, the one with the guy was probably more of a 4 or 5. She said to herself quietly: “I can bear it, but it’s not easy. I’ll need a little time to get over it. She called her best friend to arrange a meal and tell her about it.

He was not one of the colleagues in the company who was late, lazy or frequently ill. He identified with the company’s values. After all these years, his superiors couldn’t have missed that. And then, when the position of head of department became vacant, he saw his chance. But a younger colleague with a university degree got the job.

He thought: What else can I do? What else makes sense? He was pissed off, no, bitter, no, angry … or all of the above!

• Think about which event is stressful or difficult for you to bear?

Although his promotion was long overdue, someone else was preferred.

• Rate the level of stress with a number on the stress ladder from level 1 (bearable) to level 10 (unbearable).

It felt like level 8 on the stress ladder.

• Assign a different event to each of the remaining 9 levels of the stress ladder, corresponding to the numerical value of the stress level. Start with the 10th step (unbearable) and descend to the 1st step (bearable).

He thought about what would be comparable to level 10 on the stress ladder. As a man of business, he thought of the collapse of the global economy at level 10. Level 9 would then be the subsequent financial chaos. At level 7, he would no longer be able to service his financial burdens. Then he thought about personal matters. What if one of his children were unwell? Would that be a 6? And what if something happened to his wife? Only level 5 remained for this idea. And level 4? What if his parents became seriously ill? No, he would have to rethink the lack of promotion. Sure, it felt really bad and he was very disappointed in his superiors, but there were events as a result of his step-by-step evaluations that would be far more depressing than the lack of recognition at work.

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